Artist: The Stapler
Album: Metaphysical Haircut
Label: Columbus Discount

Fuzzy Wuzzy was in need of a haircut. A "metaphysical" haircut, more specifically, one that would allow him to dance without distraction. He'd heard of the fuzzy tones being made in Ohio, so he traveled to Columbus where he met up with three rock and roll barbers that call themselves The Stapler. They played music that was so much fuzzier than Fuzzy that it sheared his locks in a distorted ruckus that shaved him clean, leaving him free to dance maniacally in the bright city lights. Jared Phillips of Times New Viking recorded the whole deal on a Tascam 8-track, and named it "Metaphysical Haircut" in dedication to Fuzzy Wuzzy. The record captured rock music constantly on the brink of collapse, with super-catchy riffs and hooks that surfaced long enough to hold things together underneath the heaps of chaos. Fuzzy was very happy with his new hairdo and he thinks you will be too. Especially if you like music that crinkles at the edges, crunches at the seams and careens out of control in sharp distorted harmony. Like Sonic Youth, like Dinsouar Jr., like late '80s, early '90s rawk with a new fun-filled approach to getting your ears lowered. Or your head caved in.